It has been a really busy week for me so I did not have much time for this week’s fun Friday blog. I thought I would take a different slant for this week on what is normally a fun way for me to geek out with a Top 10 list of some sort. Instead, with the 30th anniversary of “Back To The Future” this year, I thought I would play the part of Marty McFly and list my Top 3 things I would do if I could time travel. With the help of Doc Brown and the Flux Capacitor, I am zooming through time without a worry of disrupting the space-time continuum. Rather – I fully intend to alter the events of history by doing exactly what I would LOVE to do if I had my own time machine. A lot like the character “Lou” from “Hot Tub Time Machine” (VERY underrated movie) I am going to put my mark all over history. Full disclosure – this list will be highly irresponsible and with no intent of doing anything “noble” or selfless. This is a fantasy – so I am allowed to fantasize! Let’s cue up Huey Lewis https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXN6tgE4g_4 , rev up the DeLorean and do this thing.
3. “Ed Solo” – My DeLorean’s 3rd stop would be smack dab in the middle of 1974, long before Luke Skywalker even entered into George Lucas’ mind. I would immediately “write” all three original Star Wars Trilogy movies, with a few geeked out revisions. For example, in Return of The Jedi, there would be no Ewoks. We would definitely have Han shooting first, and Boba Fett would never go out like he does (weakly) in Return of The Jedi. Other than that, my “work” would be as true to the first three as possible. Rest assured, there would be NO prequels and definitely no “midichlorians”. I would take my masterpiece to Hollywood, license the bejesus out of anything and everything, and then soak in the flame, riches and glory. I would “discover” Harrison Ford and then tell him after this Star Wars thing I got another idea called “Indiana Jones” he might be a good fit for. You get the point – I remove George Lucas forever and promise all of you that I would treat this franchise right. Jar Jar who?
2. “Declaration of Ed-dependence” – my 2nd stop in the DeLorean would be to January, 1776. I have always been a huge history nut, especially with regards to US history. To be there at the beginning of the American Revolution would be absolutely epic. I have thought this through of what I would do. I would immediately get with the leaders of the day – Jefferson, Washington, Adams, etc. I would wow them with my knowledge of the future and demand we declare independence and that they make me General of the Continental Army. With some good knowledge in tow of British attacks, methods and plans, I would lead the US Army to victory with far less casualties and swifter time frames. Then, I would say to my boys “Hey – I have been thinking about something called “The Constitution”. I would give them the idea but stand back and watch them draft it. What an awesome thing this would be to witness! I would demand outlawing slavery ASAP and finish with my tinkering of history. I would then leave in my DeLorean with the knowledge of my place in US History and the delight of seeing my face and name on the dollar bill – maybe Mount Rushmore too? Look – I said up front this was a purely selfish mission.
1. “Ed is the Walrus” – I make no excuses for the fact that I am obsessed with The Beatles. I love me some Ringo, but damn if I am not a drummer too with “wannabe” aspirations. I go back to the late stages of the “Pete Best” era and work my way into playing for John, Paul and George before they ever even hear the name Ringo Starr. I also wow them with some original song ideas. “Hey John – here’s a song I have been writing called “A Day in the Life”. “Paul – here is the melody for a song I have been messing with lately – I am calling it “Hey Jude”. As they would be floored by my songwriting ability and average drumming, I become the drummer for what will go on to be the greatest band in history. I can’t sing – but I would be “serviceable” like Ringo was on tunes like “A little Help From My Friends” too. OK – maybe less than “serviceable”. This is such a cool time travel stop that I don’t know if I would ever want to get back to the future from this one.
There you have it – my completely irresponsible wish list of time travel “to-dos”. What would you do if you could go back in time? Until next week – there is no spoon.
Ed, I like the cut of your jib. I always look forward to your #thereisnospoonfirday; hilarious and thought provoking. You should make one pre-stop to the future and pick up a Mr. Fusion to keep the Libyans off your back. (The radiation from the plutonium is a bit of an issue too) And don’t forget to pack some extra gasoline when traveling to places before the creation of the combustion engine!